The Cult of the Fizz-Keeper
Now with updated info! See below.
What is the Fizz-Keeper? It's device that is absolutely useless for its intended purpose, but has endless possibilities for other uses and misuses. The Fizz-Keeper is a small pump which screws on to the top of a soda bottle. Pressurizing the bottle was supposed to keep the beverage inside from losing its carbonation.
Well, it doesn't work. Carefully controlled experiments, conducted in the early 1990s at J. Miller Handcrafted Furniture, revealed that the device did not prevent the soda from going flat. (Subsequent research by the Journal of Chemical Education, however, revealed that the device could help maintain carbonation... but only for a period of hours, not days or weeks. See the link below. And no, I am not making this up.)
However, our researchers (Jeff Miller, Dave Carhart, and Bruce Sharp) did determine that the Fizz-Keeper could have numerous other applications. This determination was reached when one of us said, "I bet you could do all kinds of cool stuff with this!" and the other two said, "Yeah!" Unfortunately, since customers to the shop wanted fine custom hardwood furniture, and did not want lots of goofy-ass things involving pressurized two-liter Coke bottles, we were unable to pursure this research.
In a related investigation, however, we determined that Crystal Pepsi (a product created during the brief "let's make our products clear!" fad of the early 1990s) tasted exactly like regular Pepsi. This came as quite a shock to our researchers, who previously had insisted that it did not taste the same. The results of a blind taste test, however, were conclusive: the two beverages were indistinguishable.
But back to the Fizz-Keeper: The Internet has revealed that other researchers have also realized the myraid possibilities of this wonderful device. Links are provided below.
The Fizz-Keeper is available online. Here, for example, is one vendor:
In October 2009, I received an email, purportedly from the inventor of the Fizz-Keeper, Mr. Michael Beyer. He disagrees with my contention that the Fizz-Keeper doesn't do what it claims to do.
I'm happy to give the inventor his say. I replied to the Mr. Beyer and offered to include his comments on this page, with two stipulations: First, I stand by the results of my own testing. And second, I'm not going to make any attempt to verify that this email was, in fact, sent by the actual inventor of the Fizz-Keeper. For the record, I believe that it is... but the amount of time I'm willing to spend on Fizz-Keeper research is, shall we say, rather limited.
Regardless of whether or not it keeps beverages tasting fresh, I still think the Fizz-Keeper is neat, and a creative person could find fun things to do with it.
With Mr. Beyer's permission, his email is reproduced below.
Subject: Your Fizz-Keeper info is inacurate! by the Inventor
From: Michael Beyer
Date: Fri, Oct 30, 2009 6:28 pm
If you really want to know the "Cult of the Fizz-Keeper...you should hear it from the horses mouth! My Name is Michael Beyer, and you may remember me. ..I invented the Fizz-Keeper... "The bottle cap with the built in pump, that kept soft drinks from going flat" That Product was marketed by Jokari/US inc., and sold over 25 million world wide. My name is on the patents and I was the one who negotiated the original license agreement with the owner of Jokari/US inc, Sam Ligon.
After reading your article "The cult of the Fizz-Keeper", I just had to set the record strait.
In its inception This gadget was tested by the head professor in charge of the science department of SMU at the time. he actually measured co2 levels in the soda stored using the Fizz-Keeper under controlled environment and was able to measure significant superior carbonation retention when used properly. This proved that this was viable. Once manufacturing, Marketing and distribution began I the held some in store blind taste tests of my own. We all remember the Pepsi challenge ...This was a landmark marketing campaign. It was the first Time a single add campaign shifted one of the most prolific and lucrative industries in history. At that time Soda sales top out at around 28 billion dollars annually. Pepsi gained an entire % point from that "challange" If my math is right thats 280 million dollars, and the funny part of this is that the Pepsi challenge was inconclusive. True that pepsi won 51% to 49%..by clinical findings it's more likley that the test would land at 49-51 than 50-50. Completely insignificant differance.I decieded to hold my own challenge, but not Coke against Pepsi...I was going head to head Coke against Coke and Pepsi against Pepsi. I took Two matching bottles, pourd 1/2 of the contense down the drain from both sets of bottles, and the resealed them. One bottle with the origanol cap that comes on every soda bottle and the other with the Fizz-Keepers. Now I stoerd all the bottles in a cool dry place (My garage in January) and waited 5 days. I the set up a table and a sign in a local grocery store that was carriing the bottle cap in question and the people lined up to sample there favorite soda beverage. Cup A had soda stored with the standered cap and cup B soda was stored with Fizz-Keeper cap. I would play the old shell game behind a devider on the table and they would drink. Right of the bat many people where reluctant to even drink the soda I was offering because it was 5 days old! They had feared the soda would be flat. some had stated that thats why they did not buy the 2 ltr bottles. After a little perswasion they all drank and made their choices. after several hundred people, we packed up and went home that evening when I evaluated the results and found that a very convincing 83% chose the beverage of their choice..Coke or Pepsi (we also tested diet) That was stoerd with the Fizz-Keeper. everyone in favor stated that hands down this soda was fresher,better tasting and more carbonated. I would call that a slame dunk! The secret to the Fizz-Keeper is a simple one, it works best with only a few pumps. A small amount of pressure in the head space of the bottle does indeed slow the rate of decarbonation, however if you over pump the opposite results can accur.
I am fully knowledgable on the Fizz-Keeper, Pepsi challange and even "Old Coke New Coke" history. I was right in the heart of those events and have information that have never been disclosed that would suprise you. Some information I have relating to Coke could even be ileagal and incriminating to the soda giant. If you want to know more you can contact me for further details..
Now that weve been introduced...I'd like to introduce to you...
The Worlds Most Accurate Disposable Alcohol Sobriety Test You Can Administer YOURSELF! The BREATH-A-LYZER TM
Now you can know for sure that you are under, or over the legal limit Millions of drivers on the road at any given time, are under the influence of one or more alcoholic beverage. Some may be over the legal driving limit ! Maybe you had one to many cocktails at lunch with the boss, or maybe your the designated driver, and you still had one or two beers?do you suspect your teenager may have been drinking? Being arrested for DUI can cost you Hundreds, even thousands of dollars, and could even cost you your job! The impact on your life can be devastating... Now you can Know for sure. Find out your blood/alcohol level before the police do ! Keep you and your family and your loved ones safe...
BEYER BEVELOPMENT, a South Jersey based company introduces "The Breath-a-lyzer" The worlds most accurate alcohol sobriety test you can administer to yourself. Easy to use, just blow through the glass tube 3 times for 10 seconds each, wait just 2 minutes and compare any color changes in the tube to the color scale on the back of packaging. PRICE AND AVAILABILITY, The Breath-a-lyzer is being test marketed locally in liqueur stores, convenience stores, drug stores and bars, and is selling faster than they can get them on the shelf! You can also buy them on line at www.thebreath-a-lyzer.com, suggested retail price of just $4.95. BEYER DEVELOPMENT currently offers FREE shipping on internet orders.
PROMOTION, Currently Beyer Development and their partners are offering a $1000 dollar grocery coupon incentive of your choice with your purchase of The Breath-a-lyzer. These coupons can be printed on your home computer as soon as you make your purchase, and are redeemable at any grocery store in AMERICA!
This AMAIZING offer is not "too good to be true"....it is TRUE!!! For more information on this press release, contact Michael at BEYER DEVELOPMENT 609-287-2227 or Email the firstname.lastname@example.org
And there you have it.