The Cult of the Fizz-Keeper

What is the Fizz-Keeper? It's device that is absolutely useless for its intended purpose, but has endless possibilities for other uses and misuses. The Fizz-Keeper is a small pump which screws on to the top of a soda bottle. Pressurizing the bottle was supposed to keep the beverage inside from losing its carbonation.

Well, it doesn't work. Carefully controlled experiments, conducted in the early 1990s at J. Miller Handcrafted Furniture, revealed that the device did not prevent the soda from going flat. (Subsequent research by the Journal of Chemical Education, however, revealed that the device could help maintain carbonation... but only for a period of hours, not days or weeks. See the link below. And no, I am not making this up.)

However, our researchers (Jeff Miller, Dave Carhart, and Bruce Sharp) did determine that the Fizz-Keeper could have numerous other applications. This determination was reached when one of us said, "I bet you could do all kinds of cool stuff with this!" and the other two said, "Yeah!" Unfortunately, since customers to the shop wanted fine custom hardwood furniture, and did not want lots of goofy-ass things involving pressurized two-liter Coke bottles, we were unable to pursure this research.

In a related investigation, however, we determined that Crystal Pepsi (a product created during the brief "let's make our products clear!" fad of the early 1990s) tasted exactly like regular Pepsi. This came as quite a shock to our researchers, who previously had insisted that it did not taste the same. The results of a blind taste test, however, were conclusive: the two beverages were indistinguishable.

But back to the Fizz-Keeper: The Internet has revealed that other researchers have also realized the myraid possibilities of this wonderful device. Links are provided below.

Links:

The Fizz-Keeper is available online. Here, for example, is one vendor:

http://www.marketexpo.com/prod_2189_m1_1s9_2s37.htm